My birthday was last month! I turned 20. I don't think anybody is fully formed at 20, but I know a little more now than I did before, and I like writing lists.
1 You have too much stuff. I don't care if you think you don't, you do. Audit your wardrobe every season. When did you last use that kitchen item? When you make art, only keep your firsts and favourites. Do not buy new things unless you know where you will put them and why you want them. If it's not essential, it's one thing in and one thing out.
2 You can sell your art. People might buy it. You're putting pottery in an exhibition now. It's kind of awesome. You get to fund your most expensive hobby, and it's really not as scary as you'd think.
3 You can stop talking to people. If someone makes you feel shitty, 90% of the time you can just stop engaging with them. Sit somewhere else, delete their number, ask to change rooms. It means you have enough energy to be kind to the people who you think deserve it.
4 You will always be cringe. And that's okay. Being cringe is not an issue, but making no effort to improve is. Accept that right now you are what you are, and keep working to be whatever you would rather be.
5 Habit stacking is (mostly) good. You form habits better when you glue them to pre-existing habits, routines, or good things. You also risk losing the first habit if the new habit is especially uncomfortable for you. Do not try to glue new habits to brushing your teeth.
6 A little meat is okay. If you can't keep yourself operating at normal levels you can't do any good for anybody. Being selfish is selfless sometimes. You are not a martyr and you should not try to be one.
7 Life is long if you know how to use it. What a good book. You've gotta plan as though you'll live past 80, but know that things could change any second. Start doing more, look after your friends, look after your body, stop wasting your time with what you cannot control.
8 Good skincare is worth it. This is my least favourite. Your skin is so so bad and so so finicky. Buy the good moisturiser and body wash and face things. Use them consistently. It costs too much, but man, you kind of have to.
9 Computers are fun. They are still so daunting, but it's not hard at all to start learning if you start from zero. You will meet someone who will help you fix things when you break them, so there is no need to worry.
10 Computers are evil. Get off of the internet! You use it wrong! Social media is bad for you, and you make deeper connections in person. You are not good at having friends that live in the phone. Also, if you aren't paying for it, they're probably paying for you.
11 Keep yourself busy. Running on inertia is much easier than building up new momentum every time you need to do something. Tasks fill the time that they are given. If you put all your chores into one day, you will get them all done in one day. If you split them over three days, you will get them all done on the last day AND feel evil on the first two.
12 Natural light will make you happy. It feels bright without being clinical. Bright light means energy, but harsh light means bad energy. The sun is good for you (please wear sunscreen when you sit in the window all day). You wear so much green because it helps you photosynthesise.
13 You say sorry too much. It's excessive and annoying and makes you seem insincere when you actually mean your sorries. Thank people instead. Say "excuse me" instead. Say nothing at all!
14 You need to learn how to learn. Picking subjects that you already know you like is great in high school and uni, but if you do that forever you won't ever figure out how to learn things that don't come naturally to you. (I should try to teach myself maths maybe.)
15 You cannot lock in tomorrow. Tomorrow isn't real and you won't want to by then anyway. You will want another cookie or another lie in bed or another play on they phone. Just delete the apps now, stop eating the cookies now, and get out of the bed now. There is no point waiting!
16 Looking after yourself is fun. Making little routines for each bit of you that you care about (your nails are really long and healthy now) and sticking to them is fun! Learn everything you can about how to 'optimise' yourself, and do what feels right. Obviously the outcomes are awesome, but the process is too.
17 Sleep on bad feelings. You will feel better in the morning. If you still feel bad, you'll feel less bad, and you'll be able to make a plan for how to feel better.
18 Libraries are nice. And you should get as many library memberships as you can. Reading is fun, having books is fun, but having books is only fun when they're good. Buying a book you haven't read means you might have wasted $20 on a shit book. Borrow it first!
19 You need to move. Staying still makes you sore, less resilient, and less able to move later. If you stretch every day, walk every day (average 10k steps), and do something really tiring two or three times weekly, you feel best.
20 You have no idea what you're doing. Most people don't. You'll embarrass yourself and do silly things and break stuff. It's okay. It's your first time living your life. Don't dwell on it, and don't judge other people on their slip ups either.